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CSA - Canadian Space Agency or Confederate States of America?
by Steve Fay


(The following dialogue may or may not have been overheard in a bar in the Deep South.)

'Hot dang! We done showed them Yankees a thing or two!' said Billy Bob Dunteeth.

'What you on about, Billy Bob?'

'Well, I hear tell the Canadians done stuck one a them satellites up in space.'

'The Canadians? How much a that stuff you had, Billy Bob? The Canadians ain't got no space program.'

'Sure they do. Saw it on the internet.'

'You got internet? Hoo whee! Movin' up in the world, ain'tcha?'

'That ain't it atall,' Billy Bob persisted.

'So how's the Canadians sendin' up a satellite showin' the Yanks anything? An' what's it got t' do with us?'

'They call their program the Canadian Space Agency!'

'Well, what the heck else they gonna call it? NASA?'

'Think about it! Canadian Space Agency, CSA. Same as the Confederate States of America.'

(The unidentified man said to the bartender), 'Joe Don, I think Billy's done had enough.'

Undaunted, Billy Bob said, 'It's a code, I tell ya! CSA. Think about it's all I'm sayin'. This CSA sends up a satellite and what happens? Next thing ya know, them Yanks up around New York an' Ohio an' Michigan's havin' power outages.'

'So? How you puttin' them pieces together, Billy Bob? I think you musta left some in the box.'

‘You just don't get it, do ya? You know where the Cajuns come from?'

'Sure. Bayou country.'

'Before that. Way back when, they come from Nova Scotia up in Canada! That's on accounta the Brits took over an' the Cajuns was French. So they come way south.'

'So?'

'So I think some of 'em went back up. Ya know the CSA website's in English and French! An' Cajuns's got French blood.'

'So you sayin' the Canadians sent up a satellite t' knock out power t' the Yanks, huh?

'Canadians, Cajuns, Confederates, CSA, whatever,' Billy Bob said, happy to have made his point. 'Sure as heck didn't affect no southern states. That there space agency's right up above Montreal too. Prob'ly right close t' where the Cajuns come from back when. An' they ain't figured nothin' else out about the power goin' down. Fact, the Canadians're pointin' fingers at New York or Pennsylvania, sayin' it was their fault. Like Bear Bryant or somebody always said - had to be a southern boy - best defense's a good offense. Anyway, it sure showed them dang Yankees. The South's Gonna Rise Again!'

'Yup. From clear way up north. Have another 'un, Billy Bob.'

(Final note: At this point, conversation swung to Southeast Conference football which, as Billy Bob pointed out, 'ain't gonna be affected by no power outage.')


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What the heck could a guy who lives in New Zealand know about the USA Deep South? Well, despite an admittedly Yankee pedigree and his current location, he did call Kentucky home for sixteen years and actually traveled through Tennessee, Georgia, the Carolinas, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Alabama without ever once getting shot at for being 'a damn Yankee.'

Kidding aside, he says, 'folks are folks wherever they may be, well, except maybe for politicians and bureaucrats in Washington DC.' (Okay, so he can't put kidding aside.) His frequent ramblings are available online at: A Half Bubble Off.net


Readers may contact him at Mr. Ornery's mailbox

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